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“Well, I’ve always known that Bruce kept his money hidden in the basement. He liked suitcases, you see. The sturdy kind. And he kept on buying new ones online all the time. So after he died, I went down there and found about a dozen suitcases. I opened one and there was a hundred grand in there, all in small notes.”

“A hundred thousand dollars!”

“They looked messy and some of them had blood on them, and some looked as if they’d been jammed in some guy’s underpants, but hey—money doesn’t stink, right?”

“It certainly doesn’t.”

“And since there are eleven more suitcases in my basement, I think you can see how that puts me in a spot.”

“Oh, I think I do.”

“I’ve heard a lot of good things about bitcoin. About how it’s super-safe, and the taxman hasn’t got a clue that you even have it, nor do the boys in blue.”

“Bitcoin works with a digital wallet that’s locked with a digital key, and only the person with the key can open the wallet. So it is indeed very safe and very, shall we say, discreet.” He smiled an unctuous smile at Gran. “So how much money were you thinking of transferring into bitcoin, Mrs…”

“Moll. Mary Moll. Well, all of it, of course. Though maybe I should keep one suitcase for everyday expenses. Like my housekeeper and my shopping.”

“I’m honored that you would think of me to take care of this little problem for you,” said Omar.

“Scarlett said you were the man to see. I thought of taking everything to my bank, but she said that wasn’t a good idea.”

“Banks have an obligation to report any money deposited into an account over a certain amount. If you were to take your husband’s suitcases into a branch of your bank it would raise all kinds of red flags, and the police would be all over you in a matter of minutes.”

“But you won’t tell them, right? After all, my dear Bruce earned that money fair and square. It’s not his fault that the government thinks crystal meth shouldn’t be allowed. I mean, all he did was supply a product and fulfill a need. In fact the man was a saint.”

“Absolutely,” said Omar severely. “So when were you thinking about making your… investment?”

“I brought one suitcase with me,” said Gran, and hefted the suitcase onto Omar’s desk. It was big and bulky and the insurance man eyed it eagerly.

“Well, let’s open her up, shall we?” he suggested.

Gran adjusted the dials for the security locks and popped the clasps. Omar unzipped the monstrosity and stood eyeing the contents of the suitcase with eyes glimmering with excitement.“Now will you look at that,” he murmured, rubbing his hands with glee.

“He looks like a man who’s just found treasure,” said Brutus.

“He does indeed,” said Harriet.

“Do you think you’ll be able to handle such a big investment?” asked Gran.

“Oh, absolutely,” said Omar. “The Morro& Wissinski bitcoin fund is exactly the thing you need, Mrs. Moll. And in fact if you’d like me to fetch your other suitcases for you, I’d be more than happy to drop by this evening and pick them up.”

“Let’s first make this deposit,” said Gran, “and see how it goes.”

“Of course. I’ll start on the paperwork, shall I? And in the meantime here’s a brochure explaining the ins and outs of our bitcoin fund.”

And as he handed Gran a glossy brochure, he started filling out the paperwork for the transfer of a hundred thousand dollars in drug money to the Morro& Wissinski bitcoin fund.

“Looks like he took the bait,” said Harriet happily.

“Now let’s hope he takes it all the way,” said Brutus.

Chapter 37

That night we were staking out Omar Wissinski’s place, and frankly I was feeling a little crowded. There were four humans in the car, and four cats, and even though Chase’s squad car is roomy, it isn’t as roomy as all that.

“You really should buy yourself a bigger car, Chase,” said Gran as she shuffled about uncomfortably. “Especially now with the baby coming, you’re going to want to get a family car. A nice big Volvo.”

Chase directed a look of distaste at her through the rearview mirror.“Never in my life am I going to buy a Volvo.”

“Why not?” asked Gran. “I like Volvo. Big and spacious, and very, very safe.”

“They do get good reviews, babe,” said Odelia.

“I don’t care. I’m not buying a Volvo.”

“And why is that?” asked Scarlett.

“Because I don’t want to be the laughingstock of the precinct, that’s why!”

“Only idiots would laugh at a man who drives a Volvo,” said Gran. “Besides, what’s more important: the opinion of your colleagues, or the safety of your family?”

“Well, if you put it that way…” Chase grumbled.

“I think a Volvo station wagon is the way to go,” said Scarlett. “And a bright color, so it stands out in traffic. It’s much safer that way, you know. Better than gray or dark blue.”

“So a bright yellow Volvo station wagon it is,” said Gran.

“God, no,” said Chase, much to the others’ amusement.

“Why do babies need big cars?” asked Dooley. “I thought they were small?”

“Babies are small to begin with,” said Harriet. “But they grow very quickly.”