After Dell had climbed the circular staircase and disappeared from sight, Shauna turned to Hodge. “C’mon, let’s get comfortable.”
Hodge followed her hostess through another door and into what Shauna called a sunroom, which looked like a very large glassed in porch. Hodge liked it
immediately. She was directed to a large, overstuffed leather recliner and sat down, enjoying the comfort. Shauna took the chair’s twin, easing her long
body down into it with a groan of relief. “Damn back’s still screwed up,” she grumbled under her breath.
“Will you be okay before the season starts?”
Shauna grinned. “Oh yeah. No problem there.” Her smile faded just slightly. “D tells me you got some questions about the politics in the league.”
A bit uncomfortable, Hodge rubbed at the back of her neck. “Well, I do. Kind of. But I don’t want to intrude on your privacy.”
“Girl,” Shauna said, laughing, “you’re not intruding on anything. Dylan trusts you, and that’s alright by me. Go on and ask your questions. I won’t bite.”
“Well,” Hodge said, still unsure, “they have to do with…being gay.”
With a huge grin, Shauna leaned forward, clasping her large hands between her knees. “You need some pointers? Alright! I can do that!”
Hodge laughed, feeling instantly better. “No, no. No pointers. I need to know what it’s like…being gay in the league. How do you live your life without
worrying about breaking the rules? I mean, I’ve lived openly for so long. How do I go back into the closet?”
Shauna slumped back in her chair. “Aw, Cat. It ain’t about going back into the closet. It’s about keeping your public face away from your private one. You
understand?”
“No, not really.”
“It’s like this, Cat. Once you go big time, you live in a bubble. A glass one. You might think you’re a basketball player, but you’re really fanbait. Once you
take your first step out onto the court as a pro, your life isn’t your own anymore. You belong to them.”
“Them?”
“The crowd. The people who pay to watch you play. If you’re any good at it, and D thinks you’re gonna be, they’ll wanna know everything about you.
Everything.”
“God,” Hodge whispered, feeling a heavy, smothering weight descend upon her shoulders. “How do you cope?”
“You cope, my friend, by digging out this little piece of your life that’s yours and only yours. And you guard it, man, you guard it like it’s fuckin’ Fort Knox.
And the only people you let in are the people you want to let in.” Keeps favored Hodge with a look heavy with compassion. “On the outside, you’re all
smiles, the league’s newest sensation. But on the inside, where it counts, you’re you. You gotta keep ‘em separated, or you’ll go down. Hard.”
Hodge thought about this for a long moment. “But…what about Coach Lambert? I mean, she’s everywhere. She’s always giving interviews, posing for
pictures when she’s out on the town. She doesn’t seem to have a problem with it.”
Shauna’s expression turned to one of deep sadness. “That’s where you’re wrong, Cat. This shit is harder on her than on anyone I know. People think they
know her, but nobody really does. Not down deep, not in here.” A long finger pointed to the center of Shauna’s chest. “She’s so walled off that sometimes
I’m scared for her, you know?”
“I don’t understand,” Hodge replied, frustrated.
Shauna sighed. “I know. And I’m not makin’ it any easier. Why don’t I lay a little history on you. Maybe that’ll help.”
Hodge gave a grateful nod. “Thank you.”
“Right before D hit the scene, the league was goin’ down the tubes big time. The novelty of watching women jump around in tank tops was wearing off.
People were complaining that the game was too slow, the scoring was too low, there was no offense, no defense, whatever. And then you had the gay
thing.”
“Yeah,” Hodge replied, “I remember hearing about that.”
“It hits most women’s sports sooner or later. We just got blasted especially hard. Folks stopped comin’ to the games, stopped bringin’ their kids, like they
were gonna catch something. It just got outta control. Crash and burn time, baby.”
“And then along came the Goddess.”
“Exactly!” Shauna exclaimed, grinning. “Here was this drop dead gorgeous hunk of womanflesh who could outshoot, outscore, outblock, outjam, and
outrun anybody anywhere. And she was every man’s wet dream, in the flesh.” Keeps’ mouth twisted, as if she’d bitten into a very bitter fruit. “Too pretty
to be a dyke, you know?”
Hodge rolled her eyes in disgust.
“She didn’t care what they thought, though,” Shauna continued. “She just wanted to play ball.”
“I bet they cared, though, right?”
Shauna nodded. “Right,” she bit off. “They cared a lot. Especially when the stands started getting filled and the endorsement offers came rolling in.
Seemed like everyone wanted D’s name on their product. Didn’t matter what it was, you know? As long as her name was on it, it sold.”
“And she liked the publicity?”
“Hell no!” Shauna exclaimed, sitting bolt upright in her chair. “She fucking hated it! But there really wasn’t anything she could do. Endorsement deals are