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But then a nurse came with a wheelchair, and transferred her into it and rolled her away. So we decided to hop out, lest we were locked in there for however long it would take Odelia to deliver this baby. We followed the nurse into the hospital, but suddenly found our progress barred.

“No pets allowed!” someone yelled, picked us up and would have deposited us back outside if Odelia hadn’t yelled from her uncomfortable position, “Those cats are mine and they’re coming with me!”

“But…” the person said.

“They’re coming with me!” Odelia insisted, and gave the person such a fierce look, they immediately set us down again and we toddled in our human’s wake.

And so it was that we found ourselves on the precipice of this most auspicious occasion: about to welcome a new person into our family.

Chapter 23

Unfortunately we met one final hurdle, and this one refused to budge: even though we made it all the way to the maternity ward, to allow us in the delivery room was never going to happen. And frankly I didn’t mind one bit. In preparation for the birth Odelia and Chase had watched a documentary the other day and it all looked very unappealing to me.

So we were relegated to the waiting room, and were soon joined by the others: Marge and Tex were the first to arrive, then Uncle Alec and Charlene made their appearance, and finally Gran and Scarlett showed up, Harriet, Brutus and Gran’s Finnish billionaire in tow, who seemed to enjoy the process tremendously, though he did have a sort of puzzled look on his face.

Chase was there to inform the family of the progress, before making his way back to the delivery room like an intrepid reporter returning to the frontline.

Once I thought I heard Odelia scream something about an epidural, whatever that might be, but apart from that the Pooles seemed to settle in for the long haul, with Tex disappearing from time to time only to return with plastic cups of coffee and some sandwiches from the hospital canteen, and Gran’s billionaire to disappear, period.

“Where is Dallas?” suddenly Gran asked, becoming aware of a distinct dearth of Finnish billionaires in the room. “Did anyone see Dallas?”

“I lovedDallas,” Uncle Alec admitted. “Especially when they shot JR.”

“Not that Dallas, you fool!” Gran cried. “My Dallas!”

“I think I saw him heading in the direction of the geriatrics ward,” said Tex.

“So you still don’t speak Finnish, do you?” asked Charlene.

“No, and I have a feeling I never will,” said Gran. “It’s a tough language to learn. Though I have picked up a couple of words here and there.”

“And his English is still nonexistent?”

She shrugged.“I don’t know what it is. You’d expect a billionaire to speak the most popular business language on the planet, but apparently not. He keeps repeating my name a lot, so he must be really smitten, but when I think he’s going to kiss me, he always has some excuse. Frankly it’s infuriating.”

“I hope she’s all right in there,” said Marge, chewing her lip nervously. Obviously she couldn’t care less about Gran’s billionaire or the language barrier preventing love’s young dream from coming to fruition. “Where is Chase? He should have given us an update already.”

“She’s fine, honey,” said Tex, patting his wife’s knee and studying a rather large baloney sandwich. He seemed about the only one there who was enjoying himself.

“Why don’t you go and have a look?” Marge suggested. “You’re a doctor.”

“Best to leave them be,” said Tex. “We don’t want to get in the way, now do we?”

Judging from Marge’s expression getting in the way was the only thing she did want.

“So have they got a name for the baby yet?” asked Scarlett. She was dressed in her usual attire: tight shirt, short skirt and plenty of garish makeup.

“I have absolutely no idea,” said Marge, pulling a face. “They haven’t mentioned anything to you?” she asked her mother.

“Not a thing,” said Gran, looking under a plastic chair in hopes of finding her elusive billionaire.

“So is it a boy or a girl?” was Scarlett’s next question.

“No idea,” said Marge reluctantly.

“I don’t think they know themselves,” said Gran. “Some couples don’t want to know, you know.”

“I’m sure they know,” said Tex. “Only they’re keeping it to themselves.”

Marge stared at her hubby in dismay.“You think they know but haven’t told us? But why?”

“Honey, it’s fine. We’ll know soon enough, won’t we?”

Marge resumed her position of rigid unease.“The least you could have done was ask Chase. I thought you and he were so close?”

“We are close, which is why I decided not to pry.”

“Where is Windex?” suddenly Dooley asked.

“Yeah, where is that weird creature Chase adopted?” asked Gran.

“She wasn’t home when we arrived,” said Harriet.

“I thought she was with you,” said Marge, directing an accusatory look at me.

“No, we left her at the house when we set out this morning,” I said.

“God, now we’ve gone and lost Windex!” Marge cried, throwing up her hands. She turned to her husband. “Better go and find her, Tex.”