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We glanced over our shoulders at the massage area. Dion and Alejandro were still face down, chatting up a storm, kneaded by the capable hands of the massage therapists. It looked like they were going to be here a while.

“Maybe Harriet will come to the rescue?” Dooley asked, expressing a hope beyond hope that our friend would switch allegiances again.

“I doubt it. And even if she did, she can’t open this door by herself.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Cheer up, buddy. There has to be some way out of here.”

“Or we can just wait,” he said, languidly stretching out on the floor. “Sooner or later that door will open again. It’s inevitable.”

“And let Brutus share our hard-won secret with Odelia and take all the credit? No way.”

This is not something I’m particularly proud of, but I admit I have a competitive spirit. I like to win, especially when competing against a bully like Brutus. Nobody is going to come into my town and my house and try and steal my human’s affection in this treacherous way. No way. No how.

“Come on,” I said. “Let’s find the back door to this dump.”

“Oh, what’s the point?” asked Dooley, closing his eyes. “Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling us we should take a nap.”

I gave him a poke. It was my way of telling him to get a move on.“Get up, Dooley. We’re getting out of here and we’re getting out of here now.”

He grumbled a little, but eventually managed to defy gravity and get up.“Do we always have to be the heroes? Can’t we just be cats for a change?”

“No, we can’t. Being a hero is the American way. Now let’s go.”

We wandered deeper into the spa center and passed several sauna cabins, just waiting for some crazy human to allow himself to be boiled alive. How they can stand that kind of torture I will never understand. Bodies aren’t made to suffer those temperatures. The worst part? Humans like being boiled. It makes me think they’re probably a lot less evolved than they claim.

We arrived at an indoor pool. It looked pretty cool. When I stuck my paw into the water I discovered that it was. Definitely too cool for me. Brrr.

“This water is freezing!” Dooley cried.

“Humans like it,” I said. “I’ve seen it on TV. First they broil themselves in those torture cabins over there. Then they jump into this icy water. It’s supposed to be good for their health. Sounds like fake science to me.”

“I can’t imagine how torturing yourself can be healthy.”

“Humans think hamster wheels are healthy, buddy, though they call it treadmills.”

We walked the length of the pool and arrived at the Jacuzzi. The water was gently bubbling, steam rising from the surface. This was yet another thing I didn’t understand. How humans could spend hours soaking in hot water. And then they were surprised when their skin got all wrinkly.

We passed the resting area, which was located in an alcove, a skylight allowing sunlight to slant in and warm up the spa visitors. Loungers were spread out around a small fountain on the floor, and soft music played from the speakers. This was where humans, after all that torture, passed out.

“Hey, this looks like a great place for a nap,” Dooley said, and jumped up onto one of the loungers.

“No way,” I said. “We need to get out of here so we can tell Odelia about our discovery.”

Next to the resting area was a small bar, where the guests could grab a drink. I trotted behind the counter, hoping to find the back door. What I found was a small storage room. Boxes were stashed up high, and when I looked around, I saw that the room doubled as the electrical room. I dashed inside. The electric switchboard was here, as well as a lot of pipes crossing this space. One set of pipes led up, and disappeared into the ceiling.

“Hey, Dooley,” I called out. “I think I might have found a way out.”

Dooley came trotting up reluctantly.“What?”

“Look,” I said, gesturing at the concrete ceiling.

He looked up and yawned.“Nice pipes. So what?”

“So this is our way out,” I said enthusiastically.

He stared at me, and then back to the pipes. “I think you’re delusional, Max. How is this our way out? We can’t squeeze into those pipes.”

“No, but we can climb them. See how there’s a hole in the concrete up there? I’m sure we can squeeze through.”

“Squeeze through? And then what?”

“Then we’ll be one floor up, and I’m sure there’s a way out up there.”

“And I’m sure we’ll just get stuck up there.”

“Where’s your spirit of adventure?”

“Trying to keep me alive. I’m not suicidal, Max.”

“Neither am I.” I fixed him with a firm look. “Look, Dooley. While we’re dragging our feet, Brutus is sweet-talking Odelia into appointing him her new first feline detective, supplanting us in the process.”

“Planting what?”

“I mean, taking our place in her heart, her home, and her life.”

Dooley thought about this for a moment.“I don’t think I like that, Max.”

“Me neither. So are you going to give this a try or not?”

He stared up again, and sighed.“I suppose so.”